Before Dawn: A Free Falling Novella Read online

  She’s biting her lower lip, the arm looped around my neck pulling me closer, her whole body falling apart with pleasure.

  “Say it.” I intensify the rhythm of my touch.

  She arches her back and another whimper escapes her lips, sending a violent shiver through my body. I feel maddened, unable to contain the wave of craving rising inside me.

  Turning her, I pin her against the cold wall and kiss her. A dark, possessive kiss. Relentless fury combined with unyielding passion.

  I take only a second to come up for air, both of us breathing heavily, before my mouth plunges into hers again, for another hungry kiss, our tongues intertwining in a frenetic, desperate motion.

  “Tell me that you’re mine,” I breathe into her mouth before my teeth nip her lower lip not so gently.

  She smothers a cry, pleasure and pain mixing as one. Another swift movement and I have her facing the city again, hands splayed against the glass, the flicker of the city lights pouring into the darkness inside and reflecting on her skin.

  “I’m yours.” Her breath comes in fevered gasps, every stroke of my hand fondling her breasts and running down her back making her quiver.

  “Spread your legs for me,” I whisper against her temple, the tone raw and commanding, my hand on her nape lowering her gently down.

  She does as I say. Claiming her as mine, only mine, I thrust into her. A single and long thrust. Firm and deep, steady hands holding her waist, the feel of skin slipping on skin and walls pulsing around me absolutely intoxicating.

  “Tell me you’re mine again.”

  “I am…” Her breathing is coming in shallow, ragged pants, each ever more determined movement pushing her higher and closer...

  …until a hard shudder racks my body and I push up her against my chest. “So why did you leave me?” In a blaze of anger, I yank the blindfold from her face and spin her around. “Tell me, Olivia! Why did you leave me like that?” I demand, gripping her upper arms with both hands, shaking her.

  The same deep green eyes that have haunted my sleep other times before stare back at me, scared, and I wake up frantic, in a cold sweat, my heart beating so fast it feels it might just burst.

  Jeez! What in the bloody hell was that?

  Seven in the morning, I check on my phone with half-closed, heavy eyes, and sit upright for a few moments, forcing my breathing to calm down.

  “Is it time already?” A sleepy, rough female voice comes from under the messy sheets and I need do a brief resetting exercise to figure out how she ended up here.

  “No, Jo. All good, go back to sleep.”

  Rolling over, she hums something I don’t even bother to understand and snuggles back down into the bed.

  Struggling against the drowsiness, I pad into the bathroom. My mouth is dry, I need something to drink.

  After a few swallows straight from the faucet and several splashes of cold water on my face, I scowl at myself in the mirror.

  Shit, last night’s dinner!

  The moment Charles Burke mentioned his daughter wasn’t coming to Jimmy’s wedding today, something tore open inside me. I acted nonchalant, of course, as if I wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation, but for some stupid reason it stirred me up, it made me so restless.

  Olivia got stuck at work or something, I don’t know. I don’t care. Giving it too much importance would be like opening myself up to a fucking Pandora’s box. And I don’t really need any of that right now.

  Shit, my head. It’s thudding like a goddamned drum, the pain only getting worse when I return to the bedroom and my eyes fall on the woman lying on my bed.

  No, I didn’t call her at bloody near two in the morning to talk. This past month she’s become my regular go-to. Nothing serious, but she knows that. It’s more like a fuck-friend arrangement of sorts that serves us both, considering I’m the one who usually gets the invite to come on over.

  Last night was different. I didn’t pick her up and take her out to dinner. I didn’t even offer her a glass of wine or chat her up. In fact, I couldn’t care less about what she possibly has to say. Truth is, she’s been kind of a fix for something and I don’t even know what it is.

  And maybe it’s better to leave it at that, I conclude, as my weary body falls back on the bed. I’m not ready for any brutal truths. I guess for now I’d rather stick with the comforting lies…

  Chapter Seven ~ Olivia

  Resting my head against the window as the plane taxies down the runway, I can’t help but smile inwardly. Two minutes after seven in the morning and, apparently, it all worked out fine. In less than three hours I’ll be landing in London, just in time for Jimmy’s wedding.

  Shutting down the voices around me, I close my eyes, the tension of these last two days slowly fading away.

  It’s been crazy, nonstop. Having Filipe step on my last frayed nerve, cancelling my initial flight plans, and being part of a marathon 15-hour surgery where emotions ran high left me on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

  That or of having someone murdered.

  It all started last Wednesday night after my shift ended. It was supposed to be my last day at work before a few well-deserved days off, which I had planned to spend in London. I was so excited about my flight the following day and eager to go home and pack my suitcase.

  Julie kept insisting part of my excitement had certainly something to do with the prospect of seeing Brian again. I acted nonchalant about it, though. Because it would be plain nonsense to reminisce about some first love you don’t see in a long time.

  Right?

  Total lie, dear Lord! He’s been popping into my head every single day this past month.

  If she only knew I’d sifted through, googled his name, and almost sent a friend request on Facebook at two in the frigging morning, she wouldn’t have spared me. She would have mocked me mercilessly until I cried.

  I was sitting in the doctors’ lounge that night, waiting for Julie, using the spare time to wrap up a set of t-shirts with some funny lines I got for Sue’s kids when hell broke loose.

  I MAKE THE RULES. Josh

  I’M THE REASON WE HAVE RULES. Emma

  THE RULES DON’T APPLY TO ME. Mattie

  RULES? WHAT RULES?

  I laughed on my own as I folded that last tiny piece of clothing and wrote Marianne’s name on the carton tag, recalling Sue’s look of mock frustration when the fussiest of all her children fell asleep so quickly in my arms.

  That moment the door swished open and I searched for Julie.

  But it’s was Filipe, instead.

  After a brief hesitation, he walked towards me, one hand subtly resting on my shoulder. “I thought you’d left already… Need help?”

  I kept tagging the presents, not even bothering to look at him. “Not really, about to finish here. But grab a cup; just made some fresh coffee.”

  The strong aroma still wafted through the air.

  “Mattie? That’s one of the twins, isn’t she?” He read on one of the gift tags before he pulled up a chair. “Isn’t it a shame I never got to meet them?”

  I simply ignored his question. I could only imagine what kind of antic Filipe was trying to pull, but I wasn’t willing to let anyone ruin my mood.

  Reaching across the table, he laid his hand over mine and looked me in the eyes. “What’s going on, Olivia? What can I do to help you?”

  “Sorry?”

  “I’ve heard some rumours…”

  “What rumours?” I moved to take my hand from beneath his, but he firmed his grip.

  “That you plan to resign. Do you even know how many people are waiting for an opportunity to apply for a position here? Why would you do that? When you can build a brilliant career in this hospital? When you get to learn from the most challenging cases, with the best professionals in the country?”

  Right. And lose my sanity along the process…

  “Like you said, rumours.”

  His face turned serious, his lips pulling into a thin lin
e. “I got a call from HR, quit the charade. You’ve been asking about your contract, about your legal obligations in case of resignation.”

  “So what? I’ll be twenty-nine next month, maybe I need new challenges, maybe I want my life to unfold in a different direction. Like carrying out humanitarian work, perhaps?”

  “Why did you go straight to HR? You should always talk to people that matter first!”

  “But I did. I talked to my parents. Told them already I’m considering selling the apartment and moving somewhere else.”

  “That’s not what I meant. First, you speak with your direct supervisor! You should always follow the chain of command.” His voice dropped low to a threatening whisper.

  “Right, I owe you reverence.” I folded my arms in defiance, my voice holding more than a touch of sarcasm. “Do you know where you should stick your authority, Filipe?”

  Across the table, he grabbed my wrist firmly and pulled me forward from the chair. “You’re acting insane! You’re throwing away your career and I won’t let you do that!”

  In vain, I struggled to free myself from his grasp.

  He shoved himself off the chair and pulled me closer to his chest. “Olivia, listen to me.”

  “My decisions don’t concern you anymore. Get your hands off me.”

  He did just the opposite, pulling me so close I could feel his warm breath brush my face. “Olivia, please. Let’s stop this hostility. It’s insane, it’s absurd what we’re doing to each other. Let us get past what happened and give it another try. I feel so lost without you, I miss you so much…”

  Filipe sounded so sincere, for a moment I stood frozen, paralysed by the intensity of his gaze. Then he leant down, his lips descending over mine.

  I pushed him back from me in a fury. “Filipe! Don’t you ever do that again. Ever!”

  “Cariño, por favor,” he pleaded, jerking my hand to his chest. “Let us not throw away six years of our lives over a stupid mistake... I can’t get you off my mind. Everywhere I go, I see images of you, I wish you were there with me…”

  Stepping back, I cast a long assessing look. “Interesting. That conference in Zurich you went to last week? I have serious doubts you wished I was there with you.”

  “What does that mean?” The crease on his forehead deepened.

  “Since you’re so concerned about my career, here’s a heads-up: there are some rumours going around about you and Dr Mena. That you were putting in a little too much overtime together over there. I’m sure there’s nothing to it, it’s probably only another full-blown gossip epidemic. Now, let us keep our fingers crossed and hope it does not get up there, to her husband’s office.”

  It hit him like a train. The message and the ironic tone.

  Looking as pale as death, he racked a hand through his hair. “People are saying what?”

  “I know, right? The administrator’s wife. Chills.”

  “You’re fucking kidding me, right?” he growled, clenching teeth. “Who came up with such nonsense?”

  Granted, fate always has a way of making shit happen. Despite the late hour, apparently, someone caught her sneaking away to his room and now the juicy gossip is spreading like a bad weed.

  “With so many delegates attending the conference, no one ever knows who starts the bloody rumour-mill, do we?”

  “Oh.My.God! I’ve just talked to Herr Doktor Klaus Bachmann!” Julie burst into the lounge, geekily fangirling about one of the most prominent experts on Omphalopagus surgery. “The man is absolutely brilliant!”

  Wait, what?

  “Oh. Sorry. You’ve got company.”

  “Excuse me, who did you meet again? My congenital-twins-Doctor-Bachmann?” I asked, the questions merely rhetorical.

  “Huh… yes?” Her eyes darted from one side to the other, from me to Filipe and back.

  Dead silence filled the room as my gaze kept shooting daggers his way.

  “I’ll get myself a tea… somewhere else. I think you two want to talk.” Julie turned on her heel and closed the door behind her, only to peek back inside a second later, “Try not to blow each other’s heads off, okay?”

  “What’s happening? Why is he here already? I thought we still had another week before the surgery.”

  Absentmindedly, he rubbed the back of his head. He was trying to form the best words to drop some bomb, I knew it.

  “Filipe, how come the head of Paediatrics changes the schedule of this surgery in particular, has the lead surgeon coming over from Berlin prior to the settled date… and I know nothing about it?”

  Fixing him with my gaze, I moved closer. Patently uncomfortable, he took a small step back.

  “I’ve been following those children from eleven weeks into the pregnancy! I performed the C-section, I held their tiny hands every single night they spent in Intensive Care, I helped to settle them in their mother’s arms when they were allowed out of the incubator for the first time. I’ve been in every exam, every MRI and CT scan, goddammit!

  “It’s been over a year of planning and preparation, and I promised those parents I’d stick with them each and every step along the way. That I’d do everything within my reach to wheel them out safe and sound when the day came—and now…” I stopped, at last, realising how much louder and louder my voice had grown.

  “They decided to reschedule the procedure and there was an open slot this Friday; I have nothing to do with it. Besides, it’s not your place to determine how we manage the surgery calendar.” His tone was flat and final.

  “When were you briefed about it?”

  “A couple of days ago. But you had the wedding coming and I thought that–”

  “Damn you! You know how committed I’ve been to this case.” I jabbed a finger into his chest. “Thing is, down there you also know I haven’t resigned yet because I’ve been waiting for this moment. Now, is this your twisted way of getting back at me? Keep it under wraps and leave me out of it? Maybe fill in for me?”

  His expression said the words he didn’t dare to utter. I sucked in a deep breath, releasing it slowly as my mind churned.

  “You stupid prick, you’re scrubbing in! And then what else? Maybe boast a little to the media about how you and your outstanding department stood by this family and helped put an end to their agonising wait?”

  A frown settled on his face. “Yes, I’m the head of this department, so you’d better watch your tone. I won’t have you talk to me like that!”

  “Hit a nerve, did I?”

  “Olivia, don’t push me.”

  “Why? I’ve done my math right and it’s a bummer I found out just in time about your hidden agenda? Get some free publicity for yourself and add this to your list of dubious achievements?” I let out a snort of contempt.

  Like Julie always says: relationships are a lot like algebra indeed. Sometimes you look at your X and wonder Y...

  “I think you should go now. Go to your wedding, enjoy the holiday, and come back with a better attitude.” Filipe slipped across the room towards the door.

  “The hell I will!” I yelled, my chest tightening, my pulse beating frantically.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I am joining the first team, not you! I’ll be the last person they see while anaesthesiologists do their work, you hear me? I’ll sit around waiting until they’re moved to the recovery room, it doesn’t matter how long it takes! If I can’t make it to the wedding, I don’t care. If I do make it, I’ll be back the next day.”

  He slammed the door shut and came back in. Towering over me with cold, menacing eyes he asked, “Who the fuck do you think you are to defy me like that?”

  “The person who’ll make sure a certain rumour spreads as quickly as wildfire if I’m not allowed in!”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  I met his stare as I gathered my bag and the presents placed on the table, the air around us thickening with tension. “You sure you want to test me?”

  Filipe didn’t reply with words, but his body lan
guage, the way he narrowed his eyes and clenched his hands into fists, said it all.

  “Good. Now go tell them I’m the one scrubbing in. And can I just say something else?” I asked, already standing by the door. “Screw you.”

  *

  “…Yes, they were successfully separated and are expected to make a full recovery! It’s wonderful, I couldn’t be happier!” I tell my Dad over the phone as soon as I step out of the plane.

  “Amazing, dear. And so glad you made it. But why didn’t you tell us you were coming?”

  “Dad, I wheeled out that stretcher at two in the morning, I wasn’t going to wake up anyone! Dozed off for a couple of hours in the hospital and went straight to the airport.”

  “Mum will be so thrilled. Did you call her already?”

  “I did, but she didn’t answer the phone…”

  “She still hasn’t returned from the hairdresser. I’m going to pick you up right away!”

  “Don’t! I’m taking a taxi. How’s Jimmy? Fingernails already bitten down to the nub?”

  Dad lets out a heartfelt laugh. “No, not yet. He seems cool as a cucumber. For the moment.”

  “Is he all set?”

  “He is. And not looking very ugly, I’d say.”

  I chuckle in the middle of the busy street, a feeling of calmness and peace finally coming over me. “See you in a bit, Dad.”

  Chapter Eight ~ Brian

  What a bummer, two minutes too late and they’re all gone!

  Well, all except Robert.

  Jimmy’s guests were supposed to gather here before the ceremony, at the Burke’s home, for a brief cocktail reception and photos. Turns out I only managed to drag myself out of bed some forty minutes ago—to a bursting headache and a massive fog of red wine and anger.

  Robert isn’t looking any better. With head tilted back as if soaking up the sun, he’s sitting on the garden bench, tie loosened and jacket off, a packet of fags in one hand, a glass of Scotch in the other. In the background, the catering team, back and forth clearing tables and cleaning up the back garden.